For those who haven't seen me on IRC, I'm dropping a note here: we had a massive windstorm yesterday, and the power is currently out at my place. Moreover, we're on the list of "roads we can't even begin to tell you when you'll have your power back" that the PUD has up on their webpage. I can't get online except at the local internet cafe, which, sadly, is not open 24 hours, or I would bring a sleeping bag and camp here. I have no idea how long this state of affairs is going to last. With luck, I'll be back tomorrow, but . . . probably not. :|

Which really sucks because tomorrow is my mother and my brother in law's birthdays, and I can't bake mom the cake I was planning on.

Wish me luck, folks.

Puppy is now named 'Erich'. My mother states that she has every intention of calling him "Erichee" because she loves 'ee' sounds on the end of pets names. This only makes me smirk harder about slipping that name past her 'Harle is trying to name our pets after characters again' radar.

Those who know my obsessions well enough may understand why . . .

( couple more photos of Erich and the stray cat we took in a few months ago! )

( As yet nameless, but I'm thinking about it! )

Well, that's done. Now I just have to bite the bullet on the other one.

( Continuation of unhappy pet news )

I need to ask you, dear friendslist, to give me an alternate interpretation for something. Because I'm sure that the way my brain translates it is not how it was intended, but . . . I don't know any other way to read it!

While driving through town today, I saw a restaurant's readerboard! It said "Local vore waffle bar."

. . . no joke.

Help me out here, guys. Tell me what it really means, please.


( And in unhappy pet related news )

( And whining goes here, ignore it. )

. . . but seriously, guys. What else could "local vore waffle bar" mean? I really need to know this or my head may explode.

THE RULES
01; Comment to this entry saying 'ICONS!' and I will pick 6 of your icons.
02; Make an entry in your own journal and talk about the icons I picked!

Picked by harukami

( I really like some of these! Others, not so much. )

PICK ONE OF MY CHARACTERS AND I WILL TELL YOU:
* why I decided to play this character
* my favorite moment in canon for this character.
* my favorite scene or bit of interaction concerning this character to date
* my favorite original aspect about this character (world-building for ocs or head-canon for fcs)
* something about this character which makes me laugh.
* something about this character which makes me go D:
* a different character I think I would get along well with this character.
* what I miss most about playing them (if applicable)
* the last thing they did "off screen"
* what their last words would be if they died tomorrow
*what the next thing I'm doing for them is (narrative, post, shelving, whatever)

BONUS ROUND:
» I will tell you what character of yours I'd like to play mine against.
» you may ask me a free question if you so desire

( The List )

If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Stitches are out of my finger! It's very stiff now. Not much to say there besides I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE MY HAND BACK.

In other news, we've officially written off the piece of crap car mom pressured me into buying. She's actually apologized for making me buy it, now, but that doesn't make complete waste of the ~$1000 I put into it any less galling. So, driving mom's 'new' Honda while we try to find another car for me, one that will actually run for a while. I miss my Olds (my first car) so much. It was free, it wasn't horrible on gas mileage, and it got me around for 8 years before finally giving up the ghost. What more can you ask from a used car?

Random thoughts:

I've recently come to realize that I have a china habit. I used to just collect Japanese teacups, but over the years I've, well, branched out. I love going to thrift stores, because I can find the most gorgeous china pieces there for so little money. Last time I went to Goodwill, I picked up three shallow bowls and a matching gravy boat with attached underplate that have an understated Japanese maple pattern, and I just . . . gravy boat? When am I going to need a gravy boat, I don't cook. But they were so pretty. >: And there was a huge set of this lovely silver flower pattern that I wanted to get, but there were so many pieces, it would have added up to a lot and I don't have the money. ;_; But yes. I keep my collection in my wardrobe instead of my clothes. I still have two free shelves, but I doubt that will last long. XD And someday when I have to move I am going to hate myself for this particular choice of collections, but. They're all so pretty, I love them all.

Aaaand that's enough from me for the night. Good night, folks. ♥

So, today as I was cleaning the meat slicer, having just finished up cutting meat for the first half of the day, I accidently banged the back of my hand against the arm of the slicer - y'know, the part that isn't supposed to be dangerous? Hahaha. I gouged a knuckle so badly I had to go to the emergency room and get three stitches. I was at the emergency room from ~9:30 to ~1:30. A thrilling four hours, let me tell you. And now I'm on light duty at work for two weeks and supposed to avoid using my hand - my right hand, mind - as much as possible. So. slghsdlgh I'm right handed how am I going to survive two weeks without it? ;_;

Well, the local GM dealership hasn't managed to figure out what's making my car die, yet. >_< At least I can drive the Honda starting tomorrow. And since I don't start work until 4 pm tomorrow, I can sleep late. \o/

So in celebration, a meme:

❶ Choose an episode of anime or television series you have on your computer. Make sure you're certain you want that one, you cannot change your mind. DO NOT TELL YOUR FLIST WHAT YOU CHOSE.
❷ Make note of how long the episode is here -> 26:39
❸ Ask your flist to choose a time between 00:00 and whatever the length of your episode is. Be specific, (ie: 19:11, 21:09, 02:42)
❹ Make them an icon using THAT FRAME ONLY no matter what it is. And remember, you can only use that ONE episode you chose previous, even if the person posting isn't familiar with it.

. . . also, this song is so amazing. I cannot get enough of it. I know some of my flist is all about the Stray Italian Greyhound, but Watershed is my favourite from the album. *__*

I think I'm pulling out of the funk I fell into a couple weeks ago, finally. It was a bad one! I'm not entirely out of the woods yet, but I feel a lot better. And I managed not to utterly destroy something I love, which is what I usually do when I'm so down.

Still have almost zero energy, though. This despite downing a few cups of coffee in the morning, an energy drink while at work, and several cans of pop after work. Every day. The lack of car situation is really starting to wear on me, but there's still no fix in sight. Except maybe, maybe, mom will let me drive the Honda Accord she's buying until my car somehow manages to heal itself. It's not a stick, so I actually could, as long as she's amneable. Since she drives the MR2 in the summer, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

Have updated my Amazon wishlist, finally. Added a couple Sims2 expansions I'd like to have . . . only to learn that Sims3 comes out June 2nd. What. I give uuuup.

Anyway. Promised I'd try to sleep now. This is me sleeping! Really!

Would like to post about current feelings, but it'd just get me even more shit. Some days it's just not worth continuing breathing.

(No, I'm not going to hurt myself, not that anyone but my sister and mom and sister's fiance would give a crap.)

I love you. ♥

Sometimes I really wonder where my creativity's gone. I may not have been the best writer, or a good artist, but I never used to just sit and stare at a blank page for hours, unable to think of anything. Even the "write whatever just to get something down, and then take it from there" trick doesn't work; a page with useless lines on it has the same lack of inspiration and inertia that a blank one does.

There was a character I really wanted to apply for this CFUD app round, and for various reasons, I really wanted it to be this round. But . . . I wrote maybe a paragraph of app. Despite how deeply I want this character. Despite how much I wanted them 'now'. It's the same for stories. Sometimes I want to write something, but . . . it doesn't happen. I literally have not written anything but CFUD RP and applications for almost four years. I gave my mother two picture frames two years ago for Christmas, with an IOU that I'd have them filled with something I drew or painted before the next Christmas rolled around. They're still empty, even though I've tried and tried to do something, anything to put in them. I secretly took down, scanned, and replaced a photo of my sister and I when we were small that mom's had on the wall forever, and planned to replicate via drawing and painting . . . yeah, probably about a year and a half ago. I. Don't even know if the file is on this computer, or the one I replaced with this one, and needless to say, I never did jack with it. Every time I tried, I made a few listless marks and then gave up.

I could blame it on depression, but I don't think I'm really all that depressed right now. Most of the time, I can admit that I'm not stupid, that I'm not ugly, that I really don't need to regret being alive. I can't say that I get much further than that, but it's much improved over how I used to feel about myself. I don't usually suffer from the intense paranoia and social phobia that's driven me away from any number of friends anymore - hell, I've managed to keep most of my current CFUD cast talking to me regularly for almost two years now, and I don't even think any of them hate me. I still have interest for the things I enjoy that don't require a lot of creativity, like videogames, reading, and anime/manga. I don't even particularly hate my job, usually. At least it's less of a loser job than the one I had before, though still food service, and most of my coworkers are tolerable or even likable.

I just . . . can't create. Even looking at my CFUD play, this is obvious. I can't get Wilhelm out enough because I don't have the drive to create reasons, I don't have the ability to be creative enough to get him into situations where he becomes engaged with what's going on. The closest I've gotten is his relationship with Haruka, and . . . they don't speak often. With Canaan, I'm always beating the same drum, over and over. Emo, Program Canaan, emo, tsuntsun, Program Canaan. He's grown since I brought him to camp, sure . . . but mostly, he's grown more whiny. Which, since I am naturally whiny myself, is not particularly creative. (You may have noticed the whine by now, in fact!)

I miss being creative. Why did I only have creativity back when I was horrible? When I was 14, you couldn't STOP me from writing and drawing. My stories were terrible, my art was atrocious, but at least I was doing something. These days . . . I don't know. I can't even explain what happened. I'm not even sure when it happened, that I stopped writing and drawing. I just know . . . it's not in me anymore.

For the TL;DR crowd, I am no longer a creative person, and I hate it.

Date:	2009-01-12 22:47
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	numb

So, in November, my car died. And when I say it died, I mean, it died. Total engine failure, no hope of repair. So I got rides with my family to and from work, and after a two weeks or so, I bought a used car. No sooner did I buy it than snow set in! Lots of snow. The car got stuck at the bottom of the driveway when I drove it home, and stayed there until neighbors briefly loaned me a set of chains so that I could drive it up to the house and remove the risk of someone crashing into it if they lost control of their vehicle in the snow and ice. Then it sat at the house, because I couldn't get it up or down the driveway in that weather. About five or six days ago, the rain finally took the snow off and I could drive the car! Sweet, sweet freedom!

. . .

Car died on the way home tonight! Same thing that my old, dead, car did - running fine earlier in the day, then on the way home major loss of power and the "Check Engine Light." Who knows if it's fixable. >_<

I'd be laughing if I didn't want to cry so badly.

When we role-play, we tend to pick up a variety of characters. They could be ones that we like, ones that we want to experiment with, or ones that we just end up making from scratch. Eventually, we come to associate with (some of) them in one way or another. Out of all the characters (past or present) I role-play, pick out the one I am most like and tell me why you think so.

Tabletop OCs . . . some of these, no one on my LJ will KNOW but hey! Hell, I'm not including the character from the GURPS campaign I was in, because /I/ don't remember her name.

AD&D mumblemumble
Agasha Kaoru

In Nomine
Tarea
Imbrian (who has never actually been played, but he lives on in my heart D: And I WILL play him someday.)

Exalted
Tatsuzaki
Allen Walker (yes, name and concept were ripped wholesale. XD )

Scion
. . . okay, I forgot her name already. NEXT.

LJ canon character games

In Nomine Ludi
Eli
Wrenchial(/el)
Zenan

Camp Fuck You Die - Dropped
Near
Kagami Taro
Sun Shang Xiang
Naminé

Camp Fuck You Die - Current
Wilhelm
Canaan

Kick harder, life. I'm not feeling it yet. What are you, a wuss? Go on, I can take it.